Not an option

I wasn’t always a perfectionist. In fact, I was anything but one. Starting in fourth grade, I realized that I was lazy by nature. My laziness carried me all the way through eighth grade. It was how I described myself.

I’ve blogged about my switch from lazy underachiever to perfectionist before. It was the end of the year award ceremony this past June. Almost everybody got an award but me, and I realized that it was nobody’s fault but my own. I had dug myself in a hole and had failed to get myself out, so I didn’t receive any recognition. I decided that high school was going to be the complete opposite.

From that day on, I began to hold myself to an excessively high standard, not only in academics, but in my relationships as well. Failure simply isn’t an option for me. It’s not an option with my history of lazy nature. And yes, I have a lazy nature. I have to fight against it.

Holding myself to a higher standard has been good for my grades. I’m nearly achieving straight A’s (I’m not counting my unacceptable A minus in Algebra), which hasn’t happened since the beginning of seventh grade. I need to prove to myself and to the world that I can do well. Pretty soon, I’ll drop the minus from my math grade and get it back up to par.

Goals. I’ve never been a real goal-setter before, but now goals are everything to me. Straight A’s. Straight A’s all the way through high school. No exceptions. B’s will not get me into the colleges I want to go to. B’s will not satisfy perfection. In fact, not even A’s will satisfy perfection. I need to strive for 100 percent, 24/7.

Let’s cross our fingers and hope I can keep achieving. Actually, let’s not fall into superstition. No need for crossing fingers–I’ll just do it. I will succeed in prevailing against my nature of low tenacity.

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