When I feel lonely, my obvious instinct is to go see someone. In these times, I really only want to see friends I know quite well, which limits me to maybe eight people–ten if I’m stretching it. We live in a busy and conflicting world. So, more often than not, I have to find a way to feel better on my own.

It used to bother me. The idea of spending time by myself to combat loneliness seemed counterintuitive. Once I started thinking about why I was lonely, however, things started to make more sense. Many times, my need to connect with people stemmed from a failure to take care of myself. For instance, spending an entire day on the same spot on the sofa would cause me to feel a little bit lifeless. Once I’d taken a walk, relaxed in a hot bath, and written a good blog post, I felt infinitely better. It turns out that what I’d sought for in others could truly be found within myself. Sometimes, though, I really am lonely for no reason other than just wanting to hang out. When that happens, and there’s no option of seeing someone, I still find a way to spend quality time alone. It’s not ideal, but I always feel at least a bit more replete after having pampered myself a bit.

There is whole lot of companionship that can be found simply by knocking on the door to one’s own heart.


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