The following is something I found that I wrote when I was twelve, over Christmas break. I share this with you because it’s inspiring to look back on old bad days and realize how much better things got.
“I am sooo sad now. Nobody understands me. I don’t even understand me. I see teenage girls in the mall, laughing and talking to best friends. They don’t know how lucky they are. I don’t have a best friend. I have lots of little friends and acquaintances. But no true, best friend. I guess nobody really wants me as a good friend. Is there something wrong with me? Am I not normal? Probably. I must really be weird.
I have no grip on life. I am happy for five minutes, then sad for five minutes, then happy for five more and sad for five more and so on. I’m free-falling through hell. I have no idea where I will end up. Maybe I won’t come out alive. Maybe I won’t survive to ninth grade.
I’m a vulnerable little girl that is having her soft little heart cut out by her own mistakes. My own foolishness is sucking the blood out of my very veins; turning it to a sickly gray. I’m a cuddly little puppy that is being shot to death. I’m a young sprout being pulled from the ground.
Truth is, I’m locked up in a chamber. It’s dark and cold; with one unbreakable window. There’s an hourglass chained to my neck. Tears stream from my face and cover the ground. When the hourglass runs out, the chamber will be filled from floor to ceiling with tears. I will drown. There is no time to waste. Somebody has to find a way to reach me, comfort me, and pull me from the chamber of death…
The hourglass is running out.”