I’m a dork, plain and simple. Every day, I come to school wearing jeans and something casual–plaid, Nirvana thermal shirts, tees, hoodies–you know, nothing attractive. I don’t wear any makeup, because 1.) I suck at it, and 2.) I value sleeping in in the morning. I’m awkward, offbeat, not exceptionally beautiful, and I have a very small social circle, which consists exclusively of girls. Every day after school, I come home, take a nap, play with my Sims, write on this blog, and maybe do some homework if it counts for enough of my grade. Basically, I’m not very involved with my own life.
This is a terrible personality to have for a romantic like me. How do I talk to guys? Yeah, I like someone right now. He’s sweet, quiet, gentle, respectful, and takes interest in others. We’ve had a few nice interactions, but I have no idea where it’s going to go. I feel completely inadequate when it comes to the male gender. There are always girls who are prettier and more charismatic than me. What am I supposed to do? Wait until I’m older so I can become stunningly gorgeous or socially skilled?
I feel like a seventh grader. Butterflies, crushes, feeling awkward. It’s different, though. I know who I am, I’m confident with that person, and I don’t need a man to complete me. But I haven’t outgrown my tendency to get way ahead of myself when it comes to relationships.
Maybe this is just being exacerbated by damn cuffing season.