I really don’t have any dreams. Well, nothing that practically applies to my future. I’m not sure how I feel about it. All my younger life, I was sure of exactly what I wanted to do. Now that I’m actually approaching college, I have absolutely no idea.
I’m just not motivated. I enjoy my leisure time more than anything else, and it has a fiercely protected sanctum in my heart. It’s always been this way, except for my compulsively perfectionistic freshman year. They always told me that middle school would be harder, high school would be harder, but I’ve put in less and less effort with every passing year. Somehow, I’ve gotten through school just fine. I’m even in two honor societies. How? Most days, I do no homework at all. Everybody’s stressed about junior year, but I’m doing better than I’ve done in years. It’s like I’m walking in an oblivious bubble.
It’s good to be happy, but if I don’t put in any effort, I’ll have no options. What am I supposed to do? I don’t want to be nagged. I’m sixteen; I can manage my own life. But maybe I don’t even want a work ethic. I want to want it. I want to want to want to want to want it.
I can’t really ask for advice, because this is something I’ll have to find within myself. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I try to discover what I want for my life.