What Can I Do?

I wish I could do more to bring about change in this world. I’m using every strategy I can think of–I give out lollipops with kind messages on them, hold up signs on street corners with inspiration scrawled on them, and try to be good to everyone. But I’m hungry for more. There’s got to be more I can do. Big things. Grand things. I want to touch the whole world somehow. The little things are beautiful in themselves, but I can’t help but see them as part of the big picture–the ripple effect. It’s always about something more.

However, I care immensely about individuals and individuality in general. If I knew I had eternally transformed one life, I would rejoice. The whole of humanity cannot be healed if there is no small-scale focus as well.

Day by day, I am growing more altruistic. I’ve spent a lot of my life being self-absorbed and preoccupied with my own wants and desires. In the past year, I’ve grown enormously. I’m not who I was at all last December. My heart has grown; thus, so has my hunger. When I walk by people, I wonder what their lives are like. I want to know. I want to heal.

But what can I do? I’m a teenager with no job, no money, and only a fraction of the opportunities adults have. They say that the best thing you can do is to live a kind life, but I am. There’s nothing more I want to do than pour into others. I’m nearly crying just thinking about it. Think of all the deep brokenness in this world. My God, it almost physically ails me that I can’t do anything about it.

I try to be a good person. I’m the type who would stay up until 4 AM on the phone with somebody who was upset. If somebody needed help, I’d drop everything and run over. I would even oppose authority to come to someone’s aid. The thing is, though, that I also have limits. I can’t spread myself too thin. Some issues I care about, and some I don’t. I don’t have the energy to rally for every worthy cause. There are certain things that are important to me–actually, very specific things. These really include emotional transformation. My goal is to bless people in their souls, especially those who are going through what I’ve gone through. It’s how I empathize–by putting myself in someone else’s shoes. Maybe all old that self-absorption really did come to some use.

What can I do?

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One thought on “What Can I Do?

  1. All I can say to this is that you’ve made a difference in my life. I had forgotten people like you – kind, considerate, wanting to truly help others from the heart – existed, and for a long time, I felt like this world was a dark place where only selfishness and greed existed.
    While I wasn’t depressed, I wasn’t exactly happy either.
    Reading this, knowing you – it’s helped me get out of that.
    Be happy, ThisCrazyWriter. You’ve made a difference. There are many more to come. 🙂

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