Feelings and Control

I don’t believe that there is such a thing as a bad feeling. Unwelcome, perhaps. Distressing, of course. But never inherently bad. Feelings are innate for a reason. Sadness creates empathy. Anger can spur on justice. Also, where would any art or literature be without distressing emotion?

We can’t control how or what we feel. Feelings come and go like tides. Sometimes you’ll feel angry about something that “shouldn’t” make you upset. The only thing you can control is your reactions to those feelings. Being angry about someone beating you in a competition is alright – you can’t control feeling that way. However, it’s not alright to go up and insult that person, or try to steal their trophy.

We feel irrationally about things because we’re human. Emotions do loopy things. The only wrong thing we could do is act out inappropriately. You’re not a bad person for feeling a certain way, even if you feel you shouldn’t. Avoid should statements with emotions. It won’t get you anywhere.

Take a deep breath and let the feelings wash over you. Like the flowers in spring, you will bloom after these rains.

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2 thoughts on “Feelings and Control

  1. I do not mean to be critical of your work, but I feel as though you have left out half of the picture here. We are all probably familiar with the Myers-Briggs personality test and the concept of Thinkers and Feelers. It seem’s to me that you have only portrayed the Feeler side (which is understandable seeing as you seem to be a feeler.) However when you say that we cannot control feelings away I believe this to be inaccurate. You are right when you say that we cannot control what we feel, in the sense that we cannot stop feelings from popping up like gophers, or flowers. Depending on the emotion. But there are people who can control emotions away. When faced with an emotion that they do not wish to have, say anger they have learned enough control to be able to dissipate the anger. Eventually they are able to just not become angry at things. So I believe that there is a level of control you can gain that allows for control of emotion. And often I believe Thinkers feel that this is more necessary due to their disposition towards (in their words) rational thought over emotional thought.

    • I’m not offended. Actually, I agree with you. Perhaps my post was unclear. I’m not saying that we have no power over our emotions (although I see how that might have come across). Our emotions do not control us. Your analogy with the gophers and flowers actually hits what I was trying to say on the head. Feelings come up, and that’s not necessarily something we control – but how we deal with them is within our power. Does that make sense?
      I’m still working on my writing skills and coherence. I suppose this is what practice is for. Thank you for your comment contribution. 🙂

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