So far, January hasn’t been the most fantastic month. Things have kind of gotten worse in my life. No, my life isn’t bad – certainly not like most Januaries have been. It’s just been more difficult.
Some old fears, habits, and issues have made a comeback. I still feel infinitely more equipped to deal with them than I was a year ago, but it is definitely hard, especially when I feel like 2015 was my heyday. Looking back on the best times is always a little painful. It just makes me feel like something’s missing. I don’t want to lose control of things again. All I can do is remind myself that I’ve gained a lot of confidence and strength. I’m not who I used to be. I just have to cling to that. My life cannot be controlled by my worries.
Part of me wonders if this is brought on by winter itself. I’m not depressed, but maybe winter has an effect on my confidence and anxiety levels. Spring and summer will bring better times, I think.
I’ll be okay. Just a little love and support would be needed. I watched some Netflix while eating fries tonight, and I get to sleep in tomorrow. Things’ll turn out. It’s just a bit rough right now.