God & Younger Me

My relationship with God, age 13.

“I want to hear Gods voice. I want him so bad…but it seems like I’m not good enough. Like other Christians are better…I’ve been a Christian for 10 years… I still feel like a baby. 10 years. Still feeling like a baby Christian.

I want confidence, and wisdom, and an awesome relationship with God. That’s my wishes if I could get a genie. Unfortunately genies don’t exist.

I want those 3 wishes. Not wealth, or power…that isn’t as important.

I’m tired of being afraid. Tired of feeling empty inside. Tired of being tired! I want something to hold on to. I’m not talking about literally.

The feeling of tears…it’s all too familiar. Chaos. Pain. Feeling helpless in a black hole. My mind and my heart never walk hand in hand. No one even realizes this.

I wish I could feel God holding my hand, my heart, carrying me. I feel all alone right now. I don’t feel secure. I feel like I’m falling through quicksand.

What am I saying. I’m such a idiot.”

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