I’m someone you could call “plugged-in.” I’m active on Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, and Facebook on a daily basis. (I know, I know, call me a Millennial.) Social media, in many ways, has had a positive impact on my life. It keeps me up to date on slang, internet trends, and current events. I’m able to see how my friends are doing and peek at the accounts of guys I’m interested in. And if I meet a new friend somewhere, I’m able to keep in touch with them without the commitment of giving them my number. Despite all these benefits, though, I think social media has been negatively affecting me as of late.
I’ve simply become too emotionally attached to my accounts, specifically Twitter and Snapchat. Not the accounts themselves–I’m referring to the release they provide me. I need to talk about my feelings in order to feel healthy, and because of how accessible my social media is, I’ve been using those platforms as micro-diaries.
This wouldn’t be as much of an issue if I was using it purely to vent, but it isn’t that simple. By nature, I am an artfully passive-aggressive person. I find it difficult to come right out and say something. Things like “I need help” or “I’m upset with you” are foreign phrases to my mouth, but all-too-familiar to my heart. Thus, I have a long history of passive-aggressive behavior. Social media has not been helpful in my struggle to become more direct, and has done nothing but abet the dysfunctional ways in which I express myself.
Hopefully my departure will help me grow closer to God as well as improve my self-advocacy. If I’m upset, I want to pray it, not tweet it. If I’m concerned about something, I want to bring it to Jesus, not a couple hundred followers who don’t know me or even care. Not having the social media apps on my phone might even force me to read my Bible more.
I don’t expect this to be easy, but I feel that it’s necessary in order to become a better person. My life has started to fall into a rut. I’ve noticed my sense of peace and self-esteem take a dip. A step in the right direction is sorely needed, and that right direction, I believe, leads away from social media at this time.