I was very distressed last night. I felt scared, sad, anxious, and guilty. It was late in the night and I was making my bed, but at some point I just stopped and cried on the floor. My life is becoming so stressful. I feel myself becoming more moody, and even my self-esteem has started to take a hit–the self-esteem I took so many years to cultivate. I’m fumbling for a foothold as I hang off the edge of a cliff. Completely chaotic and unsure of what to do, I went to my Bible and prayed.
In just two minutes, I started feeling a cool peace washing over me. It surrounded and flowed into the places where anxiety burned hot. Where weeds grew, God planted flowers. Where deserts lied, God poured lakes. Where clouds shrouded the sky, God beamed light. It was then that I was once again reminded that God is the only one who can bring this kind of peace. Nothing and nobody in this hurting world can sustain like the Lord; for he is eternal, and we are all just a moment. Trusting in moments will give back mere moments, but trusting in the eternal will give back eternal.
I brought my Bible into bed and slept with it by my side. I recognized its constancy, and I didn’t want to be a minute without it. I need this durable hope right now.