The Basis of Human Connection

Sometimes I see somebody in the hallway and I think, why does she have friends? I don’t mean it in a condescending way, although the way it is phrased definitely sounds cruel. I suppose the essence of what I’m asking is, what qualities does one have that attracts certain people and not others? What is the basis of human connection?

I have never been able to explain why I feel connected to some people and not others. It’s chemistry. It’s an unexplainable “click” (interestingly, pronounced the same as “clique,” which is along the same lines of human connection). True human bonds are not based upon appearance; rather, they are formed by emotional connection and the ever-elusive chemistry I wonder about. So, then, what’s actually in one’s personality? Humor, loyalty, maybe talent (though I have noticed that humor really opens the door to any kind of informal relationship).

Just as I wonder about that girl at school, I ask myself–inquisitively, not in a self-deprecating manner–why I have friends. What qualities do I have that are appealing? I’ll use my humor as one example. I’m funny, but isn’t everybody funny in their own way? There must be something about my humor that certain people are enthused by, and others aren’t. I’ve told the same joke to different people. Some laugh, some chuckle, some just stare. What is the basis of one’s taste in humor–environment, experience, possibly even biology?

I ask myself these questions, but the more I think, the less I really know.

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