Dear God,
You’ve been so open to me all my life. You make yourself available constantly. Even on my worst nights, on the nights when I curse the moon and stars, you don’t abandon me.
But Lord, I cannot keep pretending that I love you. When hugging and holding are so important to me, it’s hard to feel close to you. I need to feel your arm around me when I cry, your high-five when I finish a hard school day, your embrace whenever I feel empty. The physical divide between heaven and earth just breaks my heart. How can I show you my love when you’re not there to receive my hugs? How can I pretend that you satisfy me when you can’t give me the kind of attention I long for and require?
I look elsewhere because I can’t find that in you.
Dauntlessly Cautious 