Another Blissful Peak

I looked up at the night sky and began to cry with joy. It was a perfect evening, dark and mildly chilly. God was with me. I know because I felt him. My mind was completely at peace, free of worry or regret. For one rare evening, I lived completely in the moment. I felt the night surround me, clearing my mind. No past reflections. No future daydreams. Just that one, delicious slice of here-and-now.

I had been living so wistfully in the sweet past. Constantly dancing around in my memory, passively wishing that those moments would once again become reality. I had given up seeing the future as full of even better possibilities. To me, the peak of my life had already come and gone. But on that one evening, that one beautiful evening, my eyes were finally opened to the blessings lying before me. I finally fell all the way in love with my life as it is right now. I realized that I stand upon another blissful peak. It is different from the one I stood upon before, but of course, because nothing is ever exactly the same twice. But this peak is no lower. The view is not any less gorgeous. Different does not mean inferior.

I am proud of myself. I am calmer and more contented than I was six months ago. I feel less insecure. I am less childish, but still just as childlike. It’s as if all the troubles I endured have sanded me down into a finer, softer work of art. Finally, truly, I feel like those troubles have paid off and subsided.

It is beautiful.

Solitary Bliss

This is a picture of the swing I used to sit on in my later elementary years. Nobody talked to me. I always brought out my clipboard, pencils, and a good amount of lined paper. I wrote. I wrote for the entire twenty minutes. Sometimes I drew, too. It was lonely, but I became so used to it that after a while, it didn’t seem so lonely anymore. I was engrossed in my own little worlds and fantasies.

This photo, by the way, was taken by me. And heavily edited. I’m new to all this, sorry.

The Modern Atlas

Many of you may know the Greek myth–Atlas holding the world upon his shoulders. I’ve always been quite fascinated with the story. Perhaps the rain is really Atlas’ sweat as the weight bears down…actually, that’s disgusting. Never mind.

The reason I’m bringing this up is because mankind has been on my mind. Again. I’m always talking about this sort of thing, aren’t I?

When I hustle through the hallways of my school, I glance at my fellow students. Okay, I’ll admit, many of them are complete imbeciles. But I can’t help but feel such great compassion for them–for everyone’s pain.

What if one person could take the entire world’s pain upon their shoulders. Yes, it would make that person’s life a living hell…but the rest of the world would be living in bliss. I’d make that sacrifice. Even if it meant giving up everything, I’d do it for the world. My loved ones. My community. I’d be the modern Atlas.

Has anyone else felt this way? Discuss your thoughts.

That is your daily dose of my strangeness for the day.

 

Bliss

Yesterday evening was a very chaotic time in my household. In order to clear my mind and think a little, I took a long walk to a park near where I live. Towards the back of the park near the baseball field are a small set of bleachers. A few months ago, a guy and I did some stuff we shouldn’t have done there. You know, the things that make me feel shameful and guilty. However, when I reached the bleachers, the setting was nothing like that chilly March day. In fact, it was teeming with life and activity. Little children played ball in the fields with excited parents cheering on the bleachers. From atop the hill I was perched on, I heard the high-pitched singing of the ice cream truck as a soft breeze played at my face. It was then that I realized how different everything is. It’s a nice kind of different. A refreshing kind of a different, a freedom, a sheer bliss. I’m so glad that those bleachers have been ‘redeemed.’