The Quiet

I once met a girl who was constantly listening to music–at home, at school, in the car–she even had one earbud in when having conversations. When I asked her if she always listened to music, she replied, “Yes, I try to.”

I felt very sad for that girl, because I think it’s vitally important to learn how to listen to nothing. The thought of constantly having something talking to me or playing in my ear makes me feel sick. There’s beauty in silence. In fact, our best ideas can come when we’re just being still and reveling in that beauty. This world is already so full of noise and commotion–in fact, quietness could almost be viewed as a treat or reward. Of course, music is powerful and inspiring. I love it just as much as the next girl, and I do spend a lot of time listening to it. But I also love to turn off the music and listen to what my mind has to say. Thoughts don’t always roar. Sometimes you have to turn life’s volume down and listen to them whisper, listen to the quiet.

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The Power of Imagination

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsnUZWhld04

You can see the lyrics in the video. Please listen–you won’t regret it. Honestly, the beauty of this song has nearly brought me to tears. 
 
I feel like this song describes me. I find wonder and beauty in simplicity. My imagination lets me fly, everywhere, anywhere, and back again. I may seem a bit shallow or depthless to some–and I understand that. I’m zany, eccentric, maybe a little crazy. Okay, I’m just crazy. (Unless I hate you or I’m scared of you. Then I’m very subdued, polite, and reserved.) But inside, I’m bursting with ideas that delve deep into the gears of what we base our lives upon. I’m a true dreamer at heart. Sometimes the power of my mind surprises me. I can make myself laugh or cry on a whim. I can recall the past; I can paint the future. I’ve never been boring, even if I’ve seemed so before. I remember even back in third grade, I would lay on the couch and stare up at the ceiling for hours and hours. My imagination entertained me. It wasn’t uninteresting in the slightest. 
 
And neither am I. 
 
P.S. I know this sounds super prideful, but I need to practice positive self-talk, because I’m negative so often.

 

 

Handlebars

Handlebars

A friend introduced me to this song, and it so describes me in the past few weeks. I can do anything! I’m, you know, titanium. (Ever heard that song? You better have.) I don’t normally like anything with rap in it, but I must say this song is the bomb. 

The Art of Self-Love: 31 Ideas

Learning to love oneself is so empowering. Freeing. Imagine feeling at peace with the person you naturally are, embracing your imperfections and letting go of the need for flawlessness. Here are some ideas I’ve come up with that have helped me (or could theoretically help me) love myself. Maybe you’ll like some of them.

  1. Meditate. Create a happy space in your mind. It can be a real place or imaginary–anything goes. When you’re feeling upset or negative, go there and take deep breaths. Imagine breathing in happiness, peace, and joy. Associate a color with it. Feel it wash over you.
  2. Take a shower. Reflect on life in a positive light. Close your eyes and feel the water and the soap.
  3. Read. Lose yourself in a wonderful book. I prefer non-violent, non-horror material, but whatever floats your boat.
  4. Listen to calming music. Imagine letting go of every care you have. Copy and paste this link, it’s my favorite track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CB_PZSnen5A
  5. Surround yourself with positive influences. Unfollow discouraging accounts on social media. Stay away from negativity on the Internet. Be with people who encourage you to be your best. 
  6. Write a letter to your past self. Make peace with her. Forgive her for what she’s done. Tell her jokes and encourage her.
  7. Cuddle. Hug yourself. Hug someone else. Hug inanimate objects.
  8. Go for a walk or run. Especially when I’m stressed, running helps me loosen up. Notice your surroundings.
  9. Cry. Crying is not a bad thing. It can be very good when it’s done appropriately. Let yourself feel.
  10. Get dressed in the morning. Clean yourself up. Take care of your hygiene. It’s so much easier to feel good when you’re not greasy and lounging around in pajamas. 
  11. Paint. It doesn’t have to be good. Just let the colors flow. 
  12. Shave. If you’re one who shaves, do it. It’s almost impossible for me to feel bad about myself when I have baby dolphin legs.
  13. Find synonyms for positive words. I like thesaurus.com the best. Start with a word like glorious, and write out all the synonyms you find appealing. At the top of the page, write your name. You’re all of those things. 
  14. Light a scented candle. Enjoy the scents. You are wonderful.
  15. Be proud of your flaws. For example, I’m a horrible cook, and I’m proud of that. I would never want to be good at it. Having the ability to laugh at yourself is very valuable. 
  16. Dress up for no reason.
  17. Take yourself out on a date. Look nice and go to a good restaurant by yourself. Have conversations with your mind. It can be quite freeing.
  18. Do something spontaneous. Get in the car and go anywhere. Try something new. 
  19. Do something you’re good at. Whatever it is, we all have talents. 
  20. Get off the Internet for awhile. It’s easy to caught up in comparisons, especially with social media. Let it go for a day.
  21. Love a friend. Don’t talk about your problems. Just listen to the friend. Make him or her feel wonderful. Loving someone else makes you feel good, too.
  22. Do what you loved to do as a kid. Did you play dress-up? I certainly did.
  23. Journal. Feel your feelings. Describe them. Pour yourself out.
  24. Cook a delicious meal. Obviously, this isn’t the choice for me, but for all the cooks out there…
  25. Write a list of what makes you unique. Keep it positive. 
  26. Watch a comedy. Laugh. Lighten up your mood.
  27. Take a nap. Sometimes all we need is a little sleep. Just make sure it doesn’t turn into an apathetic, slug sort of nap. Think of peaceful things as you drift off.
  28. Ask others for stories of inspiration. We’ve all seen and been through a lot. Connect with someone and share hope.
  29. Every time you think something negative about yourself, write it down and rip up the paper. Then write exactly the opposite. Sometimes saying the truth aloud helps, too.
  30. Treat yourself like you’d treat a dear friend.
  31. You don’t always have to like yourself, but you should always strive to love yourself. Unconditionally. 

 

Rediscovery Day Two: Musical Tastes

Rediscovery Day Two: Musical Tastes

My music tastes have drastically changed through the years. Well, sort of.

Before fifth grade, I didn’t really listen to music on my own. It was pretty much whatever was playing in my parents’ car, and also High School Musical. Well, I was introduced to music (and YouTube) with “Fireflies” by Owl City. Then in sixth grade, I got into Justin Bieber. That was all I listened to–Fireflies and Justin Bieber. By seventh grade, I had branched out into One Direction, Bruno Mars, and even some rap. Don’t judge me.

In eighth grade, I had this music-changing realization that pitch-correction exists. That drove me away from pretty much all pop music ever (which is sad, because there is some good pop out there). I wanted music that I could relate to, so I got into the screaming “there is no love” stuff. Also some classic rock, which is good. But mostly the darker stuff. I developed an unnatural hatred for the music I used to listen to, and I liked to shove in people’s faces that I hated what they listened to and that they should stop. I did that for several reasons. Here are some (not in any order).

  1. I was ashamed of my old self and wanted to destroy any remnant of who I was.
  2. I was angry with myself and wanted something to take it out on.
  3. I was angry at everything and everyone.

I want to make it clear that I no longer care what other people listen to. If someone loves One Direction, or even Nicki Minaj, I’ll let them do that. Everyone has different preferences, and criticizing them for liking a different genre or style would be like criticizing them for wearing a different brand of clothing. I’m not an angry little fireball anymore. Live your life how you see fit.

Back to the music. By the end of eighth grade, my music tastes softened, along with my heart. I got back into Coldplay (always been a Coldplay fan, always will be) and into some New Age-y relaxing music. That stuff is beautiful! I discovered The Eagles, Chicago, Bob Seger, and others through listening to the radio.

Now, I like almost anything. I don’t typically listen to the screaming, angsty stuff anymore, but I’ll give it credit for being well-done. My attempt to destroy my old self only ended up broadening my tastes, which are now quite eclectic. Bread is still the best, though. I love their sweet, melodramatic melodies. I’ve always had a romantic and borderline melodramatic personality. Bread appeals to that side of me. I also love Coldplay. Listening to Coldplay makes me feel like I’m flying.

Okay, and a confession. I like the song “Wrecking Ball” by Miley Cyrus. Sometimes we all like that one song that we don’t have a reason for liking, but we just like.

I’ve got to get back to listening to Bread. And eating bread. And bread pudding. Yeah, I just really like bread, don’t I?

Shatter the Beginning

“Every new beginning is another new beginning’s end.” -Closing Time by Semisonic

My eighth grade year is coming to a close tomorrow. As the year finishes, I remember this line from one of my favorite songs. Once upon a time I was a seventh grader, eager to start afresh in a new year.

Sadly, I count this year as a failure. What did I accomplish? I slacked off; I engaged in dangerous activities; I wallowed in misery and self-hatred, and I betrayed myself. Yes, I’ve learned from those mistakes now. But that can’t make up for all the lost time. I was lazy, sad all the time, rebellious, and…numb. So, so numb. I forgot that I was the freaky writer girl and instead became the girl who fell apart all the time.

So I’m shattering this beginning. It was inevitable, anyway. I want to prove to people that I can be strong. I can keep my grades up because I am capable. I can live in the truth because I know it.

I’m ready, summer. I’m ready, high school. Watch out, world–there’s a shooting star flying your way.

More than a Feeling

Should I start singing the song? You know, the one by Boston! (How could anyone NOT love that song?!)

However, this isn’t about music. This is about basing life off feelings of a moment. Recently I had a conversation with a friend about this. The person strongly believes in feelings as truth. I understand that emotions are very important, but one cannot base life off of them. Just imagine believing everything you feel as infallible truth. It doesn’t sound too pleasant, does it? The raging whirlpool of human emotions is quite fickle, ever-shifting and as wild as the sea. One week may feel like a lovely dream, but another will be fits of anger and sadness. Sure, you could extend that week to a month or so, but it doesn’t change my point. When it comes to reliability, I’ll take a large, steady cruise ship over a little yacht.

Of course, I’m not saying to ignore everything you feel and become a zombie. That’s not what I’m saying at all! I’m all for emotion (see my post ‘Numbness or Passion’) but you can’t let that rule your life. Begin building your life on truth, and it will surely stand solid in the midst of a hurricane.